16/07/2007 Monday
I found out that he’s lying to me again through that BITCH’s blog,why must he times and again lie to me,iszit knowing that i’ll forgive him so he’s taking me for granted?

17/07/2007 Tuesday
His off day,bet he must have gone out with that BITCH cause he didn’t reply my sms. So my guess was right,brought her to MUSTAFA then went to Dam to meet the rest. Though BITCH didn’t mention who fetch her,but i knew it was him,things that he doing with BITCH now was what we used to do when we were together. If he really enjoyed BITCH’s companion,then why still drag me on? Images of him and her kept appearing in my mind,i can’t take it anymore le.. He reached home at 2am,sms me "miss you",what the fuck? Without her then remember my existence? If he really still want me,why still contact that BITCH?

18/07/2007 Wednesday
Meet my best friend,W for dinner at our favourite eating place,ParkLane wanton mee opposite Bugis. Wanted to go All-in-Bar for a drink,waited 30mins for a stupid parking lot,then C called to meet W,so went ‘black bridge head’ see them eat porridge. He sms me,asking if i wana watched "VACANCY". It was a Wed,he got finish work so early meh,i wondered. In the end the timing buay gum… While i was in my way back home,he told me he just dropped his aunt at Hougang so i told him i reaching home soon,asked him to wait for me. He did,and went his house to watch dvd. Infact we were more than "friends",don’t wana elaborate… I feel asleep,he too… OMG,when i woke up,its already 8am the next day(Thursday). Didn’t went work,die lor…

19/07/2007 Thursday
Knowing that he’s having a sore throat,and since i didn’t went work so brew barley water for him when i came back from his place. Was so disappointed that he told me he’s going drinking with friends after work,but i don’t think so. Must be meeting that BITCH cause going 40 tiangs mah… Instead i went over to his place,pass him the barley water. So after 40 tiangs they went chong pang nasi lemak wor,i was there earlier on lor. At 2plus when he’s home,he sms me. I was surprised that go drinking got go back so early de meh,after drinking not tired still can watch dvd wor,he’s lying!!!

20/07/2007 Friday
If we didn’t breakup,it was supposed to be our 1yr 8mths anniversary,but it turned out to be our 2mths breakup le. Went All-in-Bar to drink alone,around 9pm he told me to go his place rest,so i went… Half way,he told me he’s mum went out le and wanted me to wait for him to be back but he won’t be back so early. I knew he’s with that BITCH,why can’t he just leave that BITCH alone to make the effort to come back open door for me,knowing that i never eat the whole day,drink with an empty stomach… I vomitted,i saw something that i don’t wish to see,blood… I ever waited 3hrs for him without compliants,this time round i knew i must wait longer cause he’s having happy times with BITCH. But why am i still so stupid as to belief him,meet him and etc…??? My hp low batt,nobody i could turn to,so off my hp and on it again at 2plus to sms him. He told me he’ll be back around 3plus,i walked back to his blk from the park,sitted quite long over there,its windy,going to rain le… Lucky got Linda to company me sms,she scolded me for bring stupid. Thanks gal,thanks for helping me sms him,but still he won’t come back early de cause he’s with the BITCH. When he’s back,saw me in a miserable state then start to care for me,why? Hey BITCH,you know who you are,if you happen to see all these,can you just get FUCKING away from him anot,fun is all you want,you got so much guys so why must you cling onto him? Iszit because his car from ST? If you’re not serious please don’t hurt him…

21/07/2007 Saturday
Came back from his house,rot awhile then start preparing myself to meet S,her hubby and her gal for dinner at Fernvale. At 9pm,received his sms saying he’s home and asked me over to rest. I knew he’ll be going out,but not so early. My guess was right,he went out at 11pm while i start downloading songs from 12-1am then rest on bed. As i was quite tired,fell asleep not long. At 2.45am recevied his sms saying he’s on his way back,the first thing that came to my mind was he need to send that BITCH back first,so i presume he’ll only be back half hr later,and my guess was right again. He did received sms when he’s back,a normal thing a gal will do when a guy send her back. I kept quiet,what can i do… He made supper for me,watched dvd then do things more than friends do. I luv his hugs,his kisses… The kind of warmth,the kind of security,the kind of luv,care and concern,everything’s still the same. Just that that FUCKING BITCH keep clinging onto him,should i admit defeat or fight on?

22/07/2007 Sunday
My life definitely not as exciting as that BITCH,but i know i’m used to rotting at home,just like last time how i stayed at home to wait for him to finish work then come fetch me for dinner,went over his house company him… Everything was so sweet till this FUCKING BITCH appeared. I hate to live in the past,i wanted to move on but if i don’t live in the past,i know i gonna lose him forever. If living in the past can make myself happier,i don’t mind being the stupid gal waiting for him and living in his lies. But don’t he feel tired lying everyday ma? For a lie that he made,he need to think of 10 reasons to cover the lie,since he already know that no point lying cause i’ll still know he went out with BITCH,so why is he still lying,has it become a habit to lie to me? Although BITCH don’t initial "yc" in her blog anymore,but if he’s not the one who fetch her,then who? See ed race,ed stands for Edwin mah… Please lah BITCH,if you’re the type who really want a stable relationship,then in the first place,you won’t have become other’s third party liao,i’m not saying about myself,you yourself know what i mean… Now that guy no longer want you,so came to yc again,BITCH don’t hurt the person i luv most,if you do i’ll make you implant more teeth…

He changed my password to friendster,don’t like me to blog stating things we’ve done,but why that BITCH can blog to let me find out that he actually still fetched her out although i was told that he’s with E,that’s all…Mr Bean,Marina South…Impossible E fetch her lor,must be him le.Although i’m sleeping besides him but i find that everything’s so fake,he’s a BIG liar…dbl O on Saturday,she’s there too…What the hell is he doing?Quarrelled with him over another BITCH who broke up my friend’s relationship,but when i realised that it’s really her,i stopped the arguement cause not worth quarrelling with him over such a gal.But why iszit that whatever his friends have,he must have it too?Monkey see monkey do???Already so troubled by what’s happening at home,stress at work,still must face such problem with him,i really don’t know when i’ll have a serious breakdown…He said no chance will be given to me after me deleting that BITCH’s number,does it means that he had wanted to give me chance?But if that’s the case,then why is he doing so many hurtful things behind my back?Is this what he really meant by wanting to give me chance,but he still can’t let go of those BITCHES…I can give up those guys but can he do the same anot?I was so devasted when family was giving me stress on both Saturday and Sunday,instead of resting at home i left home to wander on the streets aimlessly.After meeting L at Toa Payoh,somehow i felt better.Headed down to Yishun to meet W for dinner,we went 101 for our (me+L) frog leg porridge,was so full…Decided to go Dam relax awhile before going home,get tortoise egg along cause he’s a joker,at least can let me temp smile and not put on a sad face.Saw some friends there,and the most shocking was to see J in uniform in a patrol car..OMG!!!He stopped to chat with me but i was so paiseh,scared others who don’t know will get the wrong idea.I purposely stayed out late so that can avoid seeing them at home,to avoid quarrels too,but staying outside was so tired cause i gotta work,wonder how long must this carry on…Before i fell asleep,i received his sms,i knew he’s home resting (hopefully he’s not lying to me again) so i can sleep peacefully le…Why i must go through all these,why must everything happen at one shot,why is heaven so unfair to us (me+L),why am i still dwelling,why must he quarrel with me over someone who is not worth,why do i have to become like this,why can’t i be with him happily,why i still don’t get anything in return after doing so much,why must he hurt me times and again with his lies,why he like to fetch BITCHES so much,why can’t i be bitchy inorder to gain his likes……..WHY is there so many WHYs???

After playing MIA with him for 5 days,i meet him for dinner on Monday,Tuesday and Thursday(even watch DIE HARD 4.0 with him).His attitude for me somehow has changed,he wake up le ma?And today as my room will be occupied,i’m at his house.He went R’s birthday chalet while me,haha,log on to friendster to blog.I find myself unusual since the breakup…I keeping doing things i’ve never done before.A very good example is i cook sweet corn soup for him wor,OMG!!!What the hell is happening to me again?Although i don’t really feel anything for him now,but why am i still doing all these things?Anybody there can help me?This afternoon J just reminded me of the path which he walked with me,full of obstacles but i still managed to get through myself,then why this time i’m so fragile?I’m already trying not to be so negative but cannot leh…To fall and hurt on the same spot again is a very painful thing,the wound is deeper…Life is full of adventure,but why must my life be so adventurous until i can’t even handle?Today’s my good friend,Skye’s big day,wana wish her all the best and hope she’s found her happiness,CONGRATS gal!!!Heard from W that during my disappearance,he msg him through MSN asking about me,but this stupid bro of mine attitude with him,HaHa!!!His car got problem leh,should i be sad or happy?Sad in the sense that he gotta waste money,but happy in the sense that he can’t fetch chais liao…Even now go out also is E come fetch him de.

Till today then i realised that i should give up instead of letting go… The decision is hard but still gotta do it,with the encouragements from all friends who care about me. After playing MIA with him for 5 days,i wondered,he really cares or he just want to have someone to care for him as those BITCHES will never do that? Those 5 days i find that i actually can live without him,so why in the first place i’m so stubborn as to keep holding on… When i learn that he went singing with those BITCHES,the first thing that came to my mind is ‘he rather hear them sing than hear me sing wor’… Those guys are really good actors,they deserve "BEST MALE ACTORS" awards. When i reply him again on Monday,i suddenly don’t feel anything,i think i’m numb by all these nonsense liao. To be able to watch movie with him again,should be my pleasure ba… Although i don’t know whether has he woken up from his dream,i know that i should wake up le,i can’t carry on like this but i’ll stick to the dateline i give myself.  After reading that BITCH’s blog,i find that that BITCH really real BITCH+SLUT. How come god created such a gal onto this earth? Has he really stop contacting her? Will he find new gals again? What am i to do if i found out that he got know new gals? Confusing right? Whether my birthday will be a happy one anot,it all depends on him le… After reading L’s blog,tears flood my eyes again… What i heard from W has been repeating in my head since last Wednesday,that sentence was a deep cut in my heart… Gal if not for these 2 guys whom we luv so much,we won’t be the best of friends too,cause nobody can understand us better than we understand each other…