Finally got long weekend liao,D picked me up at 9pm,without my dinner we went FLY directly… Hmmmmmmm,2 weeks not there liao,so happy to see those familiar faces and drinking with them too. And its only until today then i know that PIG don’t like gals to drink,therefore this is the reason why he die die also won’t fetched me back from there whenever i’m high… PIg,if you happen to read this,i just wana let you know that i’m prepared to give up drinking for your sake,will this chance be given to me??? I hope you know that to love and care for you quietly is a torture,i belief you’re not stupid,you should know that i’ve been carrying a torch for you since the day we start addressing each other as ‘PIG’ and ‘PIGGY’…

Was lazing on bed the whole day till it’s time for me to prepare myself as J wil be picking me up for dinner first before FLYing. This guy really knows where to find tasty and yummy food in Singapore,even the most ulu corner… We had china barberque food at Geylang Lor 31,after which we went Boat Quay for ‘warming up’ session at Bar Dot and left for FLY with his friends at 11plus. Didn’t really drink too much,no mood… Sianx!!! J intro his weird friend,Mr D to me. Since he’s kinda tired or high or whatever,i accompianed him as J was busy drinking with his friends… Aiyo,and i was mistaken by Mr D’s friend for being his girlfriend when i stopped him from drinking wor… Stayed till 5.30am and saw a fight outside,childish and kinda bo-liao lor… Together with J,Mr D and 3 more friends we went Swee Choon at Jalan Bersah for dim-sum,our breakfast. Mr D’s favourite is the same as me,har-gao… Since AMK and Hougang is near therefore Mr D sent me back,was sms-ing with him till i couldn’t make it i just fell asleep with my hp in my hand.

Gotta work at Blue Heaven,so tired and lazy… Supposed to start work at 8pm but i was late cause was waiting for Mr D to pick me up. Had dinner with him first since he wanted companion… And OMG!!! My best friend,BigHead was at Blue Heaven with Qiang wor… Sit,chatted and drink with them,time past very quickly… At 1am,Mr D picked me up to go FLY…Haix,the moment i was there,was forced to drink alot cause i’m so late,that’s the excuse they gave when i was told to drink. Maybe because i’m in the best mood,i enjoyed myself  more than i did on Friday… Infact i saw some friends whom i didn’t see for quite some time le,and most of them know Mr D too,Singapore is so small sia… We left at 4plus,i knew Mr D was tired cause he didn’t sleep at all the day before lor,so ke-lian wor…

Had been having mixed feelings since Sunday,after the wasteful trip to Orchard… The problem doesn’t lie with not able to get those books which i had to buy on behalf of bastard’s mum,but was my sincerity didn’t get recognised… When i knew i was going town,i get up slightly earlier to prepare barley for PIG,wanting to pass it to him when i was in town. Meeting on a Sunday??? Shouldn’t morning shift finished work at 6pm??? He said he’ll find me once he’s free but not a single sms from him at all,therefore decided to leave since me and S had finished our coffee. No point staying there when i already knew PIG won’t meet me… Headed home to rest early as i’ll be visiting bastard the next day…

Left office at 3.30pm,went over to KBC(Kaki Bukti Centre),a prison school as the visiting time is 4.30pm… After all,i really can conclude that he’s still the one who truly understand me after so many years of breakup. After the visit i started to feel very lost but since i was meeting J for dinner so my mood slightly brighten up when i think of food… He picked me up Wisma Atria and went over to Gallery Hotel for ramen. The place was not very popular but the ramen was damn tasty and delicious,the soup was yummy and doesn’t taste like what Ajisen or other japanese restaurants serve. After dinner we went to Red Dot Traffic Police HQ to chill out at BOULEVARD,and i ordered for myself a glass  of NASTY GAL cause i’m sick of having SEX ON THE BEACH though it’s my favourite… During our chat,found out that J knew alot of ‘teong-chia’ people in the past too and the most coincident thing is he is a good friend of 9703’s previous owner. Singapore is really damn small lor…

Boss had decided on Tioman trip on 1st May,but i still prefer Bintan lor,but better than nothing… Since Sunday night had been sms-ing with MZ,funny guy lor… Thanks for the companion during my lonesome nights and when i’m bored… *mUaCkx*

Learning that i was sick PIG was very caring… But too bad,the one bringing me to the doctor wasn’t PIG although i wished badly that the person was him… This must be ‘an-lian’,its very torturing but what to do…??? J said that i should let him know but,HOW??? I don’t dare lor… Afterall,i’m a gal and i know very clearly myself that i can’t afford to get hurt again,maybe this way is better ba… I don’t believe love at first sight but PIG make me belief le… Just like the song ‘yang cong’ which is currently my favourite now… 我就像一颗洋葱,永远是配角戏,多希望能与你有一秒,专属的剧情… I don’t ask for more,just a simple outing will be fine for me,as long as can see him i’ll be very contented le… But will this come true??? He’s always so busy but can’t tell me what’s he busy with,only can wait till he’s free,but when??? Counting down to the days of my bro’s release,5 more weeks to go… I need my bro badly,cause no matter what problems i face, he’ll always be there to solve for me… At least i can pour out all my troubles to him,he’ll be a very good listener of mine…

So tired lor,early morning went back office do nothing… After work went straight home to sleep cause night time still gotta ‘ke-chuan’ at Blue Heaven… And OMG!!! I overslept,supposed to start work at 8pm but i slept till 7.30pm,endup reached there at 9pm… Da went there to pass me thing then heard from her that XZ will be meeting her so i requested to leave early,1am and we went Shenton Way PartyWorld for k-ing session… With Juan and Belle… Vivien and Derek joined us too but they left after awhile… I was given the BIG room and free party snacks cause my friend is working there. SIng till morning 6am,was super shagx lor…

(thought PIG kana kidnap liao  cause didn’t hear from him the whole day but when i sms him while on my way to Sembawang,he replied… kinda disappointed when he couldn’t fetched me back but was still slightly brighten up when i received his caring sms)

05 Mar (Wed)… … It was a tiring day for me cause after work have to part time at Blue Heaven,as it was raining so ask my xiao-di to fetch me from Bedok to Sembawang… My day slightly brighten up when i received PIG’s sms in the afternoon… While at Blue Heaven i was so sleepy but still managed to stay till 12plus. Aiyo,blur blur me at one shot sms with 3 persons endup send to wrong person again,and this time i send wrongly to PIG wor… He replied with a shock asking what am i working as at night… We exchanged few messages then just when i was about to fall asleep,PIG called around 2am,once again i opened my eyes with a grim… We chatted awhile and he kept asking me to faster go sleep cause i’m tired,he’s tired too… Hmmmmm,wondering what’s he busy with recently but since he’s so unwilling to share i shan’t probe too much anymore…

06 Mar (Thur)… … Woke up late meaning i’ll definitely be late for work so took a cab despite that it costed $20 cause got meeting… During my journey to work i was giving PIG morning call cause he gotta work full shift. He’s really a PIG,i gotta called continuously for 30mins lor. Well,he’s really very tired… So sweet to see his caring sms again,indeed my day was brighten up even though i was very tired too… But what if PIG stopped his caring sms again,what shall i do??? From what BQ has said in his letter,i knew very clearly that it’s very impossible for us to be together anymore,we’ll just be the very good of friends… He’ll be releasing soon,2 more weeks to go but i’m not the least excited at all cause the most expecting release will be in April,my BIG BROTHER,AH LINK… He’s the only guy in this world who’ll not make me sad,i know he’ll love me like his own sister cause i love him like my own brother too… And most important is he’ll definitely not let other guys bully me or make me sad…

Perseverance hurts…

Brings me nothing but sadness…

I thought Perseverance can prove my sincerity but it don’t,instead it brings me only false hope…

But still,PIG made me realised that there’s still love,care,concern and sweetness in this world which is full of cruelty…

At least i get to sense his care and concern through a non-living thing… (hp)

After work i rushed home to prepare myself for FLYing… Stupid S left his table for me as he’s not in town and since it’s a Friday therfore gotta reached as early as 9pm but i was late,reached there around 9.30pm liao but lucky table never let go yet… It was already so crowded when i’m there,lucky got my secondary school mate who fetched me there to accompany me. Were those people there to celebrate the Leap Year??? Abit bored and sianx in the beginning but when friends slowly reached one by one and i had already drank quite alot by the time of 12mn,happening le… I shared my table with me and his 2 other friends,crazy guys sia,every glass bottoms up lor,therefore within half hr that bottle of Chivas only left 1/4. When I asked if i could bring one of his friend in i didn’t know it was BEN YEO(TCS artiste) when i saw him… Time for me to start FLYing also,every table i went i gotta drink… I still preferred the crowd on Friday cause i saw alot of familiar and happening faces… Bro Alan was also there and was at my table drinking with BY too cause they were friends sia… Haix,still got the urge to sms PIG… Surprisingly,he replied but still kinda disappointed cause he couldn’t fetched me back so i continue drinking till 4am lor… Vomitted before i sleep was already a habit le…

01 Mar (Sat)… … The first thing i opened my eyes in the morning at 9plus was to look at my hp. Many missed calls and sms but i ignored all except when i saw 1 sms,my eyes grimmed… Many days PIG never addressed me as PIG le,so happy to see his sms with the word PIG again… Exchanged afew sms then he stopped le… Somehow i got a feeling that he’s trying to avoid me some of my questions. I dare not say my sixth sense is really very accurate but at times it is but i know i’m deceiving myself by telling myself that he’s busy at work cause this is not the PIG when i just knew. He’d brighten up my days with his funny reply or he’ll called to make fun of me,even if it’s just for a few minutes… But all this stopped le,since the day he told me he got some thinsg to settle within last few days… Saturday night,so went LUNAR with my buddies,at the same time to keep my promise to A,a vocalist there who is my Primary school senior… 5 of us but only 3 of us finished the bottle… As usual,photo takings,with my buddies and of course A lor… At 3 plus,Bro Alan picked me up and we headed for FLY,both of us also heart itchy,at first say other times but endup still go… My kuku didi was there with his dear and friends so joined the table cause just beside stage nia and i took photo with Charlie again,our 3rd photo liao… Thanks to Bro Alan who told Charlie i’m his sis,keke… Had supper at my house downstairs,so sleepy while eating but also hungry so had to force my eyes open…