10 Sep (Wed) went home prepared myself for night job, packed my things which to be brought to SH’s place as he’ll be fetching me after my work at pub. Boring wednesday at work but knew afew regular customers so drink with them lor. He’s supposed to fetch me at 2am but came around 3 cause he’s still busy. By the time he reached i was already abit high le, last minute drank quite alot with those fellows. Went over to the 24hrs mini mart near his place to get other necessities that i’ll need. After washing up, time to sleep liao cause he’ll be sending me to work the next day… And just as expected, i overslept… Alarm rang but i ignored, he woke me up but i was too tired to get out of bed. While i was sleeping soundly he was watching tv but i continued to have my beauty sleep instead. Then the 2 of us just slept all the way till 7pm, i woke up for the channel 8 serial, after preparing myself he brought me for dinner at Jurong West 500+ kopishop, finally a new place for makan liao, had my favourite XO slice fish bee hoon. After dinner he sent me home then headed for work while i rotted at home, and since i’ve slept for so many hours, afraid that i’ve got nothing to do he asked me to bring afew dics back to watch. Had the intention to go JB but that stupid mood swing brother never confirm so i went to sleep at 1am after finishing 1 of the disc… My mind’s full of him, though verbally we said that the ‘probation’ is over but the fear is still living within me. He just ended his 6yrs plus relationship 2mths ago, and i appeared and we just started like this, am i just a substitute??? Is he serious about this relationship??? I have so much queries, but who can give me the answers???

I duno where the hell is everybody from that group, i lost BL’s number so i think the only one who may have his number is SH, so that’s how we started… I got his number from AG, motive was to get BL’s number only but SH started by asking, would i have find him if there’s nothing up, so i say ya lor… The whole night at work (02.09.08, Tue) we were sms-ing, XZ thought was with CF but i told him not, just kept smiling to myself… HeeHee!!! And that’s how we started, since we don’t know each other well so he initiated by saying we try out, so i suggested a 1mth probation, but he said too long liao so i cut down to 2wks instead. Inorder not to have future misunderstandings, i made myself clear to him that no matter what i won’t give up that group of buddies and at the same time i don’t have so much time for him too. As i wana made it memorable, i requested the day to be pulled 1 day earlier, 1st Sep cause that was the day when we sang that song the 2nd tme and feelings were developed… I’ve found myself a boyfriend, but is he really the one for me??? I seems to be walking in circle, not getting out from it at all, once again, play car de wor, and the 2nd person from C.V… But given his age, he should be more mature than the previous one. I shared this good news with my da-lin of course, people who can understand from my msn personal msg will know that i’m in love, everybody wants me to be ‘xing-fu’ after what i’ve gone through, i also wish to be ‘xing-fu’ but such things are not for me to say de mah… He holds the triumph card, he got the say.

04 Sep (Thursday), SH promised to fetch me from work. Went work happily, meet A go pub together since he’s XZ’s friend but the shocking thing was he suddenly expressed his feelings towards me, OMG!!! The whole night i really don’t know how to face him, i don’t wana hurt anybody, i rather i’m the one being hurt… Since the 2wks probation is still going on, of course, i think my status is still single ba, but unavailable lor… Haix, he’s still busy at work therefore XZ had to send me back. XZ already knew about me and SH and i also know very fast, the whole of C.V people also will know cause there’s no secret in that group. Frankly speaking, i don’t even know what’s the probation about, kinda stupid lor… Anyway, after a painful experience, i told myself and people who care that i won’t let history repeat itself again. I may not know how to be a good gf but i know as long as u name it, i’ll try to do it, at least i tried my best…

05 Sep (Friday), had wanted to go home have a short nap before meeting him for movie, but after doing my nails and colouring my hair, when i reached home was already 8plus, after having my dinner no time to sleep liao lor. Therefore decided to go FLY since it was Bro Botak’s birthday and all will be there. Linda came over my place, took a cab to Bishan picked up Xiaotu and Jason, by the time we reached there, just nice lah, just finish cutting cake. Bring Linda FLY around, introducing her my friends and since she’s not a good drinker so i had to drink on her behalf as well as my own share. Within 2hrs, i was quite high liao. He fetched me around 2am, since we’ll be watching movie at CineLeisure, dropped Linda there to take a cab back. Wall E @ 3.10am, so cute and funny… It was raining heavily when the movie ended, wanted to find a place for makan but everywhere also no shelter, no choice but to go back Jurong liao. Aiyo, not even a drop of rain at Jurong wor, after makan he bring me to his office, the sun was already coming out liao. So tired that i just fell asleep while lying on his lap. When he’s done with his thing, it was already 9am, before sending me back we went Bt Batok fetched his friend…

06 Sep (Saturday), i slept afew hours, but he never sleep at all, was outside with his friends, ke-lian wor, he must be very tired but what to do leh… Since i’ll be working so can’t company him for dinner, but he had promised to fetch me after work then back to Jurong. He’s tired, the moment he never replied my msg i knew he had fallen asleep le, thinking he’ll wake up by 3am but he never. So i just continued to drink with customers and even went over to NUMBERS to drink till 4plus. I was so high that i went back myself in a cab… He sms me around 5plus when he woke up but i already KO the moment reached home, saw his msg at 7plus.

07 Sep (Sunday), i rotted the whole day at home till 6plus when he said he’ll meet me. Since he’ll reached slightly later so i went Serangoon Garden meet Raf didi first. I only sang 1 song nia, he reached le… Sent me home take passport, wana go JB pump petrol, wash car and to eat my favourite wanton mee. Aiyo, think still early so not yet open for business, therefore went opposite but not nice de lor… Headed back to Singapore, as usual will go Jurong lor… Called XZ and Kelvin but nobody answered, think they went back le ba, so we went Orchard Swensen eat ice-cream. Shared the 8 scoops of EarthQuake, chatted about ourselves inorder to know each other better lor. I think i’m beginning to like him even more le, but what about him??? I really hope he’s the one, nobody else but him, but will he know what i’m thinking and what i want??? Actually i just want a simple life, i don’t ask for much, rejecting so many guys for the past 1yr and i chose him instead… Not for money, not for car, not even looks, i know i can find someone even better than him but i still choose him, how i wish i have the ability to read his mind so that i can know what he’s thinking. Words are cheap, though he assured me but what i want is ISSURANCE, for life… Maybe its still too early to say anything now, let nature take its course ba, but said is easier than done lor… As days past by, my feelings for him grew… I know he won’t read this, but if he does or anyone who knows i’m talking about him, just wana say I LOVE U, no others besides U…   *muackx*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME…

Mr M called at 8.59am to wish me happy birthday, chatted awhile… CF’s sms suddenly lessen, i miss him so much… Feeling so lost and lonely all of a sudden… Inorder not to disturb him while his working, so i endured the saddness of missing his smses… Was sms-ing with DK but my mind was full of CF, kept thinking of what happened yesterday… Dear CF, thanks for giving me such a wonderful and sweet birthday celebration, though its simple but i enjoyed it very much… First time in my life counting down to birthday in cinema… Despite me sending him gd night greeting, also no reply from him…

18 Aug (Mon), my first day @ CONSPIRACY, part time lor… Bro Botak and WY went awhile, PD was there with 2 of his friends, J with AH and 1 more friend… Nothing special lor, its about the same as me going to a pub to play. After work, a crazy customer sent me back…

20 Aug (Wed), my 2nd day @ CONSPIRACY… Cool Vibration people were there for friend’s birthday. Was so fun drinking and crapping with them cause quite many months didn’t see them liao. As usual, those guys will make fun of me. Guess what, we drink till 6plus in the morning… OMG!!! I jumped into ang-gong’s car without second thoughts since he’s staying near my place. Was so steam when i reached home to change for work… My dearest didi, AG going taiwan for holiday wor, will only be back next Tuesday.

23 Aug (Sat), dress up mei-mei go CONSPIRACY. No early crowds, just XZ’s friend, A so i joined his table. Erm… … Someone familiar but couldn’t recall who is he until XZ reminded me that he’s CF, saw him few times at MONO, always sitting at the back row of the room. The pig who put his stupid foot behind me when i was taking pics, mei li mao lor… Start drinking and singing with him, play dice he lose so he gotta drink, XZ asked why i bully him made him drink so much, opps, my fault… SORRYx…

we started sms-ing each other everyday, with craps… from morning till night for the whole following week.

25 Aug (Mon) onwards i knew i’ll be very tired and shag out from work and meeting people for dinner, haix… After work went straight to CONSPIRACY, DK went find me with his colleague, endup his colleague i also know de. Liang didi also went with his friend and Kelly…

26 Aug (Tue), meet my dada at Orchard after work. Went round searching for my present, so tired lor, no mood… Immediately dozed off the moment i reached home.

28 Aug (Thur), JG fetched me from work, went CineLeisure buy movie tickets then went St James to have dinner at Station Kitchen, Ah Wok… During the movie i was sms-ing with CF….

29 Aug (Fri), went home prepared myself mei-mei as i’ll be celebrating my birthday with Bro Allan and group as well as Bro Alex and JK @ CONSPIRACY. Have been asking CF to go since he still have balance, and since i know i won’t be as busy as tomorrow but he either reply no or don’t reply, kinda sad… But after i reached CONSPIRACY not long, i saw him and my face lit with a smile. Don’t know why, but was happy to see him. Had so much fun with friends that i didn’t meet for a long time le. Bro Alex was very high, had wanted to ask CF drive his car sent him back, then from there we took cab back but Bro Alex insisted in driving. Though CF stay Bukit Batok but he still sent me back to Hougang first. Tired plus high, so i lied on his lap, couldn’t really remembered what we talked about, i bite him, haha… And that i can remember was he held my hands… As soon as i reached home, i called him, chatted till he reached home then i went to sleep.

30 Aug (Sat), woke up to give him morning call, pitiful him must be very tired lor… Since it was a Saturday therefore he must be busy at work too so we exchanged few sms. Me rotted till 6pm, finally forced myself to get out of bed to prepare myself for the night. Dada came over my place, took a cab to Boat Quay… Liyan joined us awhile, something’s happened to her bf so gotta leave. Slowly the crowd came, Vivien, her boy, Juan, Joy, Belle and her boy. Then came my buddies… Naughty fellows sabo me with the stupid bday cake with candles in the shape of penis, putting 3 into the cake and i gotta suck out… Received presents all jewellries… CF sms, kept asking me don’t drink so much but he don’t understand that those fellows sure made me drunk cause its my big day. Haix… Had a hard time explaining to him, at the same time afraid that he’ll be angry too… My 2 drinking buddies also came… Left around 4am i think, Kai sent me back. I vomited twice so not that drunk at the end of day but was quite high.

31 Aug (Sun), eve of my birthday… Afraid that CF will be angry with me so the very first thing that i did when i opened my eyes was to sms him. Was relieved when he’s not…. Rotted till its time to prepare myself to meet CF for movie. Meet him at CineLeisure, bought tickets followed by dinner at the new japanese pasta bistro on the 2nd floor. Movie started at 11.35pm, 12am sharp, my dearest didi AH GAL was the first to sing me a birthday song via sms, so sweet of him, followed by lotsa msgs from friends. The way CF held my hands gave me a very special feeling, i felt so protected at that very moment, the way he pacify me i felt like a baby… How i wish the show will never end, the time will just stopped there, but sweet and happy moments always have very short life span. After the movie i went CONSPIRACY, Cool Vibration people were there, YiLin also celebrating her birthday. Oh, we were born on the same day… Had so much fun, but CF was on my mind… Drank till 5plus with those jokers, though i was happily playing and drinking, i think i’m not really happy cause i miss CF lotx…!!!